5 Reasons Not to Go to Divorce Mediation

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5 Reasons Not to Go to Divorce Mediation

When divorce mediation works well, it can be a wonderful tool. Spouses who have their divorce settled through mediation typically save time and money, in addition to stress. However, for mediation to be an effective way to resolve a divorce, both parties must be on board. Both parties must also be able and willing to come to the table and negotiate in good faith, making compromises where needed.

Unfortunately, this type of amicable solution will not work for all situations. A qualified divorce attorney will be able to help assess your situation and determine whether divorce mediation might work for you or whether you may need to proceed with more conventional methods.

Why Divorce Mediation Might Not Work for Some Situations

Spouses get divorced for a reason. Sometimes it is because they have simply grown apart over the years and would be happier apart. Other times, it is because the two are unable to come to an agreement on anything. For the latter, mediation is unlikely to succeed. Your attorney may advise more traditional means of resolving your divorce in these circumstances:

  • Abuse – If your spouse is abusive towards you or your children, trying to go through mediation with them may do more harm than good. Abusers are not famous for their ability to settle conflict in a reasonable and calm fashion. Additionally, if you have an order of protection against your spouse, getting the two of you into the same room for mediation may be a legal impossibility.
  • Mental illness – A mentally ill spouse may not be capable of putting their emotions aside to reach a reasonable agreement. Depending on their level of mental stability, even getting them to show up for mediation could be difficult.
  • Substance abuse – A spouse in throes of addiction probably will not enter into mediation with the intention of doing anything but maximizing their own take in order to keep funding their habit. A meaningful compromise is unlikely.
  • High conflict – If the level of conflict and emotional involvement is extremely high, mediation has the potential to turn into more of a fight than a productive discussion. If you and your spouse genuinely cannot be in the same room or have a civil discussion, mediation might not succeed unless both are willing to make a serious effort.
  • Theft or dissipation – If your spouse has already stolen or dissipated marital funds, the odds are not great that they will agree to give it back in mediation. You may need a court to intervene.

Even if one of these circumstances exists, the effectiveness of divorce mediation could surprise you if you and your spouse are willing to give it a try.

Source: https://www.familyeducation.com/life/divorce-mediation/when-avoid-mediation

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